The Accident

This morning while driving off a busy open air car park near my place, i came upon a car poised to reverse into a parking lot. i stopped a good distance from the car in front, with sufficient space for it to do the parking maneuvers. In my horror, it actually start reversing towards my car, and i immediately horned several times to alert the driver in-front of my presence. Yet it continued to reverse without stopping, out of desperation, i engaged reverse gear and started reversing... and BANG! the car in front still managed to reverse into my car!

i got out of my car to check the damage, a lady driver came out with her husband. They don't seem to know what just happened until i told them that they just reversed into my car, and pointed out the damage to them. The corner of my car plate was bent, and there were some scratches on my bumper. By now, there's a long queue of car behind me, waiting to leave the car park. The male passenger asked me how i want to "settle" this, and i suggested to talk after moving our vehicles to the side so as not to block the traffic.

The "discussion" did not start very well. i expected an apology, and did not get any. The male passenger started by blaming me for being too close to their vehicle, which really pissed me, and he started to talk louder as if i am the one at fault. He ignored the fact that i was stationary and i horned to alert while they reversed into my car! He went on to say that they will not admit its their fault, and say that his insurance will never handle the claim. Such childishness! There were many passerbys who witnessed the accident, there was a small group gathered around us by then. 2 witnesses commented to me that the car in front is in the wrong, and this guy still dare to claim innocence! Behind them were their 2 young daughters, watching their father throwing accusations and denying responsibilities. What a good way to "educate" your children by example.

By then i lost my patience with the guy, and told him off that originally i did not intend to pursue the matter since its just minor scratches. Especially since my front bumper already had many other scratches prior to this incident, so it doesn't really bother me. But because of his attitude, i am prepared to go all the way on the legal front, change the entire bumper and claim to his insurance. i told them that if they had admitted their mistakes and apologised, i would have let go the incident. i would not allow them to make it seem like i was at fault. My words stunned the guy and left him speechless, and his wife (the driver) stepped in to admit its her mistake, that she failed to check her rear, and failed to hear my horns. And she apologised for the way her husband handled the situation.

In the end, i let them off after signing a joint statement on the facts of the accident. The joint statement is to protect me in case they turnaround and lodge a report claiming that my car hit their car's rear bumper.

Lesson of the day: when you make a mistake in the open, admit it and ask for forgiveness instead of blame others! Maintain your integrity.

Madam Chin

Madam Chin is back for a short break from living her life in Brussel. Her next stop is Toronto.

i can still vividly remember her first days in RCL as a fresh graduate. Naive, passionate and BLUR like a 傻大姐. Always in white shirts, black skirts, neatly bundled hair, just like the "uniforms" of IBM and big consulting firms during the 80s. This reminds me of Apple's classic 1984 advertisement...

Chin, Adeline and Serin.


She has since morphed into the hip and confident professional that she is today, and as passionate as before.

Out of the 4 ex-colleagues that Chin gathered, i am the only person from IT, the rest are from Accounts. And only 1 person is still in RCL. The person's identity will be withheld under the Witness Protection Act, since much latest news were revealed by this witness... hahaha...

It was great catching up with old friends.

Madam Chin, see you again one year later, or maybe i will go visit you in Toronto? hohoho...

你怎么看自己？

有一位牧师的女儿，她天生就是一位脑性麻痹患者，全身布满不正常的高张力，且无法言语。但，她却靠着无比的毅力与信仰的扶持，在美国拿到了艺术博士，并到处现身说法，帮助他人。

有一次，她应邀到一个场合演”写”（不能讲话的她必需以笔代口），会后发问时，一个学生当众小声的问：「妳从小就长成这个样子，请问你怎么看你自己？妳都没有怨恨吗？」这个无心但尖端的问题让在场人士无不捏一把冷汗，深怕会深深刺伤了她的心。只见她回过头，用粉笔在黑板上吃力地写下了「我怎么看自己？」这几个大字。她笑着再回头看了看大家后，又转过身去继续写着：一、我好可爱！二、我的腿很长很美！三、爸爸妈妈这么爱我！四、上帝这么爱我！五、我会画画！我会写稿！六、我有只可爱的猫！七、还有八、

忽然，教室内一片鸦雀无声，没有人敢讲话。她又回过头来静静地看着大家，再回过头去，在黑板上写下了她结论：「我只看我所有的，不看我所没有的。」众人安静了几秒后，一下子，全场响起了如雷的掌声与无数感动的泪水.那天，许多人因着她的乐观与见证而得到激励。

「我只看我所有的，不看我所没有的。」这样的人生观，很健康也很惬意。 《圣经》也曾形容一些聪明人：「似乎贫穷，却是富足的；似乎一无所有，却是样样都有的。」可不是吗？幸福，不在于您拥有多少事物，乃在于您用怎样的态度去看待、享受自己现下所拥有的一切若是能这样，即便您看似一无所有，也能比那些大富豪或身体健壮但成天愁眉苦脸的人们更快乐、更富有。

属灵功课

福财牧师要我分享过去3年在更新学习到的属灵功课。
我有3个属灵功课要分享。

我基本上是属于比较保守的基督徒。我坚决坚持圣经的权威。
我的神学观念有很大的程度是源自于信徒基础课程里的教导。
对我而言，信徒最重要的是读经，祷告，传福音。

信徒基础课程有重点提到敬拜赞美吗？
新约有什么地方提到教会一定要唱诗敬拜赞美吗？
所以敬拜赞美不是我信仰的重点。

但是，更新教会的第一个异象是：

“我们要成为一个敬拜的群体。”

有一次讲道甚至提到说：

“我们活着的意义就是要敬拜神！”

我在一本书看到一个英国的神学家 J.S. Whale 说：

“一个活着的教会，不是一群掌握着正确神学的信徒，而是一个充满敬拜赞美的教会！”

这些教导改变了我原本的观念。如果我只有正确的神学，但是没有活生生的属灵生命，属灵敬拜，我的信仰是不完全的。

第一个属灵功课：神喜悦我的敬拜赞美多过我的事奉。


三年前，当时我是小组长，但是从来都不出席祷告会。
区牧叫我出席祷告会，我没有出席。福财牧师问我为什么没有出席祷告会时，我不但没有出席，还挑战他，问他圣经里什么地方说教会一定要有祷告会，而且信徒一定要出席？新约不是说祷告时不要让别人知道，要躲起来吗？我想福财牧师当时一定很pek cek，他也不跟我多说，只是叫我去看教会历史。

后来神要我参与访韩，我看到了韩国教会的发展模式。我也开始读一本关于教会历史的书。

第二个属灵功课：教会的发展，不单单只是靠正确的神学和过往的模式，还要考虑教会的历史因素与时代的改变。圣经没有重点提到祷告会并不代表神不重视祷告会。我们的神是个活神，祂一直很有创意的在不同的时代背景使用不同的方式建立教会。

我参加访韩是因为神要我去。之前秀珠叫我去，我都说不可能，因为我老婆怀孕。

在一次的讲道，福财牧师突然提到以赛亚书30章18节：

“耶和华必然等候，要施恩给你们；
必然兴起，好怜悯你们。
因为耶和华是公平的神，凡等候他的都是有福的！”

圣灵突然触摸我，然后我的眼泪就不停的流。神跟我说话，祂说祂要翻转我的生命，祂说祂一直在等我预备好领受祂的祝福。我也清楚地听到神说要我参加访韩。聚会完后，我马上跟我老婆说：“神要我去韩国。”

当我顺服于神的旨意时，我就开始有很多的领受与得着。在事业上，我因为害怕，就一直不敢放胆的去追求我的梦想，不敢随便换工作。我的害怕其实是个小信的罪，因为我怀疑神的能力与供应。在一次的祷告会中，当神为我们争战时，神就把我多年来心中的这个害怕与枷锁打破了。

我在访韩学了韩国信徒的三个绝招：
1）让圣灵充满
2）不停的祷告
3）要有信心和正面的想法

这三个绝招改变了我的思想。工作上的问题不再使我害怕。那些困难的问题没有变简单，我的老板也没有变得很好相处；变的是我的里面，变的是我面对问题时的心态。

当我的心预备好时，恩典就临到，新的工作突然就出现。

第三个属灵功课：你的心预备好时，神自然会成就。

bye bye RCL

My last 5 days in RCL flew by very quickly. The experience is like what some say about your entire life flashing pass you in split second just before you die. Major events of the past 6 years just flash pass my mind and suddenly the last day came and become history.

There were no surprises, no dramas, no tough deliberations about attractive counter-offers, no release of tense emotions. In the end what the wise men said is proven:

"No one is indispensible, life goes on."

i have been pondering on this thing known as "betrayal", which many colleagues including my superiors around me seems to feel towards me. Have i betrayed anybody with my resignation?

It is interesting to note that nobody in my department ask me, "What are your ambitions? Is that your dream job? What are you looking for in a job?". The common logic seems to revolve around speculations such as:

• "you must have been given at least 30% increment to forego the year-end bonus."
• "you are offered a higher position right?"
• "there must be something wrong with RCL that you know but we don't know."
• "you cannot stand the work in RCL issit?"
• "you don't like your boss issit?"

Seems like nobody's first reaction is to feel happy for me that i might be moving on to a better job, or a job that makes me happier. The first reactions are leaned towards "betrayal" and "desertion", and what is going to happen to their agendas? At the end of the day, there is always the selfish side to everyone of us. In a capitalist and merits based corporate environment, every individual is very much responsible for his/her own decisions and results. i would like to quote my late brother-in-law who said:

"Loyalty is until the next paycheck."

Which in fact is really the basis of relationships at the workplace. Will you continue working at the same company if you miss a few paychecks? For the sake of great colleagues and superb bosses? i'm just trying to illustrate that work is just a means to an end. Therefore "betrayal" technically do not exist in professional workplace relationships. There will always be different priorities at different stages of our careers. A HR practitioner once shared with me the 3 stages of a typical career:

1. Fresh. Eager to learn as much as possible. Salary and opportunities to prove oneself is most important.
2. Mid career. Established with a comfortable salary and lifestyle. Job scope, benefits, working environment, colleagues, office politics, prospects become key considerations.
3. End career. Stability is most important.

For me, i'm at the mid career stage where the salary is no longer the key consideration (since i have a very simple lifestyle). Job scope and prospects become more important to me. There is never a best time to move, because there will always be outstanding issues. So when the right opportunity comes, i need to be responsible to myself and move on.

Just to set the record straight:

• my nett annual income next year will be lower than my nett annual income last year.
• i self demoted, my new position is no longer managerial.
• i no longer enjoy tangible benefits such as free parking and mobile phone claims.
• i probably need to spend additional $200 on petrol per month.
• i need to spend additional 30 mins commuting daily, adds up to about 11 hours per month.
• the job is tougher than before.

Yet, please be happy for me, because this is going to expose me to a whole new world and new challenges that i have been thirsting for. Furthermore i can now charge up Elephant Hill without any historical baggages...

Journey and Destination

Another 5 more working days and my tenure at RCL will end.

6 years and 3 months ago, after ending 2.5 years of roller-coaster adventures with failed startups ^{1 2}, i started on this journey with the objective of proving that i'm also capable of doing well in a corporate environment, and capable of climbing the corporate ladder. The journey is coming to an end, have i reached the expected port of discharge?

It has been an eventful journey full of surprises. To me, the people involved are always more interesting than the technical challenges. Technology is predictable (most of the time at least), while people are always unpredictable. Where there are people, there will be politics to manage, and i'm just glad that Jesus gave this advise in Matthew 10:16,

"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."

i'm definitely shrewd, there are probably room for improvement in the innocent department, since the force is strong on the dark side... haha...

My only regret and unfinished business are the development of my proteges, especially those hired by me. i made it my personal interest to see them grow and be successful. This could be due to the missing mentorship in my own career, and i do not want my proteges to be lost as i were during my early years. However, i have also learn to accept that not everybody appreciate my mentorship. No matter how good you are, there will always be people picking on you and disagree with your good intentions, even the PAP government accept this as a fact.

Other than that, all my original objectives have been achieved as far as i'm concerned. i have been asking God, "What's next?" for quite some time. And the Lord has been silent until early June this year when He suddenly spoke to me during a church service through Isaiah 30:18,

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!"

It immediately struck me that all this while God has been waiting for me, He has gracious plans for me, but i was blinded by my own ambitions and fears, and therefore not ready for His plans. The Holy Spirit touched me at that moment, and all those tears welled up over the years simply flow like a river. As i repent and thank God for His revelation, He spoke very clearly to me that He wants me to go to Korea and seek Him through fasting and prayers. The Korea experience was awesome, the Koreans thought me 3 key things:

1. Be filled by the Holy Spirit
2. Pray without cease
3. Have faith, think positively

The problems that i face at work no longer look insurmountable. The situation no longer look hopeless. The external environment did not change, what changed was my inside. This change led to the completion of this journey, and pointed me to a new direction.

In my philosophy, life is about the journey, reaching the destination is the bonus from God.